Christ-centred aspect of Marriage
Part two
by Dr Philip Kariatlis
Sub-Dean and Associate Professor of Theology at St Andrew's Theological College
Sub-Dean and Associate Professor of Theology at St Andrew's Theological College
This sacrament of marriage has its roots in Christ - indeed, it is Christ who becomes the marital bond between husband and wife resulting in a profound unity, so much so that the two are considered ‘one flesh’. During the marriage service the Gospel reading (from the Gospel according to St John - Jn 2:1-11) refers to Christ’s first miracle at a wedding in Cana of Galilee where Jesus changed water into wine. The presence of Christ at this wedding signifies by extension his blessing upon every couple leading them to his Father’s kingdom. It is in this sense that marriage has often been referred to as a union of three persons - Christ united to the husband and wife and in this way transforming their unity into an unbreakable bond. Fr Alexander Schmemann describes this in the following way:
Indeed, the miracle of the change of water into wine is a symbol of the transformative power of Christ in the life of each couple. As a symbol of everyday life, water signifies the daily and even mundane tasks which will need to be performed by the couple. Wine, on the hand, is a symbol of joy, creativity and fulfilment. Accordingly, through the grace of the sacrament of marriage, the presence of Christ in the life of every couple will be able to transform the habitual tasks of everyday life into a new life, one filled with meaning and permanence - ultimately filled with glimpses of eternity. And all this will be made possible by the presence of Christ in the everyday life of the couple, which they, however, will need to nurture constantly.
Upon further reflection on the story of the wedding in Cana of Galilee, the words of the stewards, “you have kept the good wine until now” (Jn 2:10) are highly instructive for the way that husband and wife ought to relate to each other throughout their life together. Whereas most relationships tend to make a real effort to present a ‘good’ self in the initial stages, the reality, more often than not, is that as relationships proceed so do the temptations to take the other person for granted, thereby becoming not only a little too familiar, but also, more often than not, less ready to serve the other. And this reduction invariably puts stress on the marital bond. The steward’s words, however, regarding leaving the best wine until the end can serve as a reminder for couples to strive to nurture their love on a daily basis so that the ‘good’ self may become even better in the end. Indeed, in the same way that as a good wine ages it becomes all the better and richer in taste, so too in the case of a couple - the best self will only become manifest in the end. The couple’s constant invitation for Christ to remain amongst them will make this possible so that each partner might be able to say that the other has “kept the good wine until now".
The prescribed epistle reading in the marriage service sheds further light on the Christocentric understanding of marriage. This reading is taken from the letter to the Ephesians (Eph 5:20-33) where marriage is referred to as a “great mystery” (Eph 5:32) - from where the Greek word of sacrament is derived. In this passage the bond between a man and a woman is presented as an icon of the unity between Christ and the Church. Just as Christ is inextricably linked with the Church, being its head, so too, does Christ bring into effect an intimate unity within the couple resulting in their becoming one single flesh (cf. Eph 5:31), permanently united together. Indeed, the word in Greek for spouse is ‘σύζυγος’ which means precisely two who are are yoked together as one. It is Christ’s ongoing presence as the mystical bond of unity between the husband and wife that brings about a type of unity that reflects Christ’s permanent unity with his body, the church. In this way, marriage bestows upon husband and wife a unity so intimate that, in the words of St John Chrysostom, they become not two, but but “one single person [ἕνα τινα ἄνθρωπον].”[2] Going further, Archimandrite Aimilianos from Simonopetra identifies who that person is:
Whenever two people are married in the name of Christ, they become the sign which contains and expresses Christ himself. When you see a couple are conscious of this, it is as if you are seeing Christ.[3]
It is important to note that the profound unity referred to here ought not to be understood in terms of one spouse absorbing the other resulting in the the uniqueness of each being obscured or compromised. The integrity of each person continues to exist since each spouse not only remains open to the other but also strives, in a spirit of unconditional forgiving love, to enable the other to grow towards a perfect and harmonious unity - two distinct people, yet one at the same time. Indeed, St Paul also provides the means by which this may be achieved when he writes: “be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Eph 5:21). For this to happen, both need to stand side by side, with Christ at their centre, who will then able to transform and transfigure their bond with a unity stronger than death (cf. Songs 8:6).
[1] Alexander Schmemann, For the Life of the World, 90.
[2] St John Chrysostom, Homily 23 on 1 Corinthians, NPNF, vol. 12, 197.
[3] Archimandrite Aimilianos, The Church at Prayer: The Mystical Liturgy of the Heart (Athens: Indiktos, 2005), 124
In a Christian marriage, in fact, three are married: and the united loyalty of the two towards the third, who is God, keeps the two in an active unity with each other as well as with God.[1]
Indeed, the miracle of the change of water into wine is a symbol of the transformative power of Christ in the life of each couple. As a symbol of everyday life, water signifies the daily and even mundane tasks which will need to be performed by the couple. Wine, on the hand, is a symbol of joy, creativity and fulfilment. Accordingly, through the grace of the sacrament of marriage, the presence of Christ in the life of every couple will be able to transform the habitual tasks of everyday life into a new life, one filled with meaning and permanence - ultimately filled with glimpses of eternity. And all this will be made possible by the presence of Christ in the everyday life of the couple, which they, however, will need to nurture constantly.
Upon further reflection on the story of the wedding in Cana of Galilee, the words of the stewards, “you have kept the good wine until now” (Jn 2:10) are highly instructive for the way that husband and wife ought to relate to each other throughout their life together. Whereas most relationships tend to make a real effort to present a ‘good’ self in the initial stages, the reality, more often than not, is that as relationships proceed so do the temptations to take the other person for granted, thereby becoming not only a little too familiar, but also, more often than not, less ready to serve the other. And this reduction invariably puts stress on the marital bond. The steward’s words, however, regarding leaving the best wine until the end can serve as a reminder for couples to strive to nurture their love on a daily basis so that the ‘good’ self may become even better in the end. Indeed, in the same way that as a good wine ages it becomes all the better and richer in taste, so too in the case of a couple - the best self will only become manifest in the end. The couple’s constant invitation for Christ to remain amongst them will make this possible so that each partner might be able to say that the other has “kept the good wine until now".
The prescribed epistle reading in the marriage service sheds further light on the Christocentric understanding of marriage. This reading is taken from the letter to the Ephesians (Eph 5:20-33) where marriage is referred to as a “great mystery” (Eph 5:32) - from where the Greek word of sacrament is derived. In this passage the bond between a man and a woman is presented as an icon of the unity between Christ and the Church. Just as Christ is inextricably linked with the Church, being its head, so too, does Christ bring into effect an intimate unity within the couple resulting in their becoming one single flesh (cf. Eph 5:31), permanently united together. Indeed, the word in Greek for spouse is ‘σύζυγος’ which means precisely two who are are yoked together as one. It is Christ’s ongoing presence as the mystical bond of unity between the husband and wife that brings about a type of unity that reflects Christ’s permanent unity with his body, the church. In this way, marriage bestows upon husband and wife a unity so intimate that, in the words of St John Chrysostom, they become not two, but but “one single person [ἕνα τινα ἄνθρωπον].”[2] Going further, Archimandrite Aimilianos from Simonopetra identifies who that person is:
Whenever two people are married in the name of Christ, they become the sign which contains and expresses Christ himself. When you see a couple are conscious of this, it is as if you are seeing Christ.[3]
It is important to note that the profound unity referred to here ought not to be understood in terms of one spouse absorbing the other resulting in the the uniqueness of each being obscured or compromised. The integrity of each person continues to exist since each spouse not only remains open to the other but also strives, in a spirit of unconditional forgiving love, to enable the other to grow towards a perfect and harmonious unity - two distinct people, yet one at the same time. Indeed, St Paul also provides the means by which this may be achieved when he writes: “be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Eph 5:21). For this to happen, both need to stand side by side, with Christ at their centre, who will then able to transform and transfigure their bond with a unity stronger than death (cf. Songs 8:6).
[1] Alexander Schmemann, For the Life of the World, 90.
[2] St John Chrysostom, Homily 23 on 1 Corinthians, NPNF, vol. 12, 197.
[3] Archimandrite Aimilianos, The Church at Prayer: The Mystical Liturgy of the Heart (Athens: Indiktos, 2005), 124